A Dysfunctional Culture

This is something I want to point out about my old home country. Let’s all get rid of this epidemic.

Modern Philippines

Culture is a difficult concept for most of us to understand and relate to.  Culture is deep inside us and does functions unnoticed for most of us. It is a set of underlying basic assumptions, values and concepts that functions similar to an operating system. All groups of people develop over time such a model of assumptions and values that have been proven to be effective in dealing with the internal (within the group) and external  environment. The culture is thus the basic underlying programming that has served the group well over time and allowed them to survive and prosper.

A culture is built up over many centuries and evolves only slow and is not easy to influence or adapt. There are many well documented so called culture shocks of groups that have been living in a stable environment which is suddenly disturbed by a sudden climatic change or a…

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To Show My Appreciation for Folk Music (Philippines)

I have this deep appreciation for filipino folklore and folk music. Most particularly from minority, indigenous cultures that have been preserved for centuries. When I was about seven, I learned at school about different ethnic groups in the Philippines. I recalled some of them from memory like the most obvious one, the Igorots from the Mountain Province up north of Luzon. Then I also knew about the Negritos or the Aetas, who were actually the first settlers of these parts of the islands. Well, as a native Cebuano, I can be counted in as just one of those many ethnic groups. Before we were colonised by Spain (and Mexico, to be specific), we were tribes of animists who weren’t really good to each other when we crossed each other’s paths (is this why we developed the art of killing – arnis?). We were once known as pintados “the painted ones” by the foreign invaders, because we had those ornamental tattoos around our bodies (that is, until of course we were colonised). But even through the late nineteenth century, we were still referred to as such by the native northerners (I might be mistaken here, but oh well) to make distinction of ourselves from all the other existing groups.

I could just be all wrong from what I just stated above, but I don’t care for accuracy at the moment. My love for those old folk stories has made me curious of our different cultures. From things I’ve learned then, I remember those stories about Bathala (the pagan supreme being) and the D’wata (before I knew that this was the supreme deity of the T’boli tribe). I thought before that D’wata (I hope I spelled this right, lazy), were referring to the sea nymphs from those variety of folk stories I read. D’wata, for the T’boli people I found out later, is the one god who lives not only in heaven but also around the earth – in nature. So of course, there are those spirits dwelling in those trees (even some of my relatives half-believe this) and in the waters, as well. I agree with that, for I know God’s  handprints are on these beautiful places where these people live (perhaps going there for vacation might be my next priority).

Being saturated so much with the post-modern urban chaos, I took to reading and watching the T’boli people perform their dances and their music ;I just find their culture beautiful. T’boli music reminded me of some Japanese folk music I once heard over in a CD. And I find it delightful that even some foreigners have taken interest in their music, too. Sadly, most of the young ones there have almost lost their own unique cultural practices to trade in a lot of what I find the globalisation rubbish from the outside. I don’t even remember anyone my age having even listened to this sort of music. They’d mostly go for American pop today (which is full of pig’s manure), and even try to dress and behave like the Westerners they think are richer than they are. I can’t blame them. When you have a government whose hands are often known for filth and devilry (yes, those possessed souls!), people would try to escape the bad reality (I am one of them, admittedly).

Still, if they all just reflect for a sec, they would have found in our own cultures, something like a diamond in a rough. Just hearing the music makes me hopeful at times. And I wish every filipino can just feel the same way about our indigenous cultures.

Ah, the nostalgia…

The Disturbing Realization About A Certain Filipino Product

White skin lotions.

The first time I had put on some was when I was eight years old. And I think I did it for a few years until we just stopped purchasing it, because it was getting more and more expensive. All those years I had thought that this stuff was supposed to keep my skin healthy, oh you know, like how vaseline keeps my skin from getting dry in a very scorching Melbourne weather. Sun block was all I thought they served as. And even my parents, who aren’t racists themselves, had been duped by the subliminal messages such products represented. At that time, this was starting to get all the rage. I guess almost everyone I knew fell for it. Thinking this is a way to keep ‘good’ skin condition. Until I immigrated, I never had the realization how this impacts filipino society. I looked at a number who put on those sun tan lotions for the same reasons – or for benign purposes. Whichever they are, it’s still disturbing to say the least.

Then when I did find out about its ulterior intent, I felt guilty. This was social engineering at its ugliest. To think that these things are supposed to make me ‘look’ good because it makes my skin a little lighter in tone… just awful and sad. I guess my parents didn’t get that memo either when they saw the ‘white’ in that tag as they bought that darn thing. My sister and I had just contemplated over it when my friend and schoolmate in high school talked about it with me in my vocal lessons. She had a friend who had visited the Philippines and expressed her surprise on how many sell lotions to ‘whiten up’. It stirred up my mind to no end. My friend, thought that this was just some cultural trait among us. Or so I thought. Even so, she was surprised and puzzled about it. Yeah, even I, too feel this was shocking when she mentioned it. It was shocking even that I had not thought about it until only she said anything about it at all. Then after that, I just felt very embarrassed. Well, it isn’t something to be proud of, right? But sadly, this hasn’t made the rest of them back home realise it at all.

Oh filipinos, what is wrong with our smooth-looking brown pigment? It is even more ironic that the pale-skinned friends I had in high school wished that they had my skin. I wanted to tell them that they should be happy for what they got. It’s not helping our case here when you start to envy somebody else for what you don’t have. And those ugly tan lotions, too. Ugh. I had seen several who had in their bodies – and they don’t look very pleasant with them. It looked so unnatural on them. As unnatural as the ones I see in filipino media industry who obviously got their bodies ‘whitened’. Seriously? Are you not ashamed of this? There’s just so much innate racism in our culture, and it must stop. The colonial mentality we’ve had for centuries should not anymore continue today. It is not helping us grow in our own society.

Look here, I am not interested in putting anybody down. If you still use it for other reasons not mentioned here then that is your prerogative. But it remains that these products have very apparent reasons why they are even selling a lot in the Philippines. I remember when I was little how often I get told not to stay under the sun for too long. Reasons? Well, it’s because I’d get too dark. My yaya (nanny in my country) said this, though. Not my parents, even though my dad sometimes alludes beauty with the pale skin colour and the long caucasian nose. When I think about them now, I realise how much ignorance there has been in terms of our own problems. In our country, white meant many good things. It represents class and power. Mainly those. And they are the sole reasons why we find it highly attractive. Take for example this actress Rita Avila. Hehe, don’t ask me how I knew about her. The yayas I used to have would often watch dull and tepid filipino mainstream films on TV in the late 90s. The roles she took on could have been played by your average filipino female. But sadly, even when they showed some believable brown beauties, they get under the radar in the local media.

I don’t know if things have been changing, because I know that our independent scene is more liberating. There are films by someone renowned internationally such as Lav Diaz who is helping to change all that. And I know that there are others, too. But such bad cultural attitudes towards ourselves are still pervasive. I mean, I haven’t even seen any Lav Diaz films, admittedly. I only read about them and had only the trailers to tell me the hint about his signature works. So the average pinoy cannot even view them because they needed more and more market campaigning. Sheesh, like politics again. Nevertheless, hearing something like this is giving me some hope of a much better representation of us in our own media. And I also hope that some actors breaking through the media scene would be ones that aren’t anymore connected with the people in the industry itself. Because most of those with such connections are the well-off, biracial people. Again, I don’t want to demean anyone. All I am asking is fair and honest representation of us on screen and everywhere in the billboards. When will we get to see more down-to-earth beauties like Charo Ronquillo?

I hope that I won’t get misinterpreted here. I still admire the beauty of Rita Avila (especially when she was still younger), and there are some who I admit are really a stand-out for me like Megan Young who won the Miss World this year. But let’s just be honest with ourselves, because I believe we are still beautiful as a people even without being lighter in skin tone or without that caucasian nose.

Get the message?

A Film That I Really Want To See These Days

Hey you all happy people.

I happened to have seen the trailer, at random, of this movie by Singaporean director Anthony Chen, called, ‘Ilo Ilo’. It looked very interesting to me by the looks of it. But I am so unlucky to have missed it out here in Melbourne when it was still showing (I think it did show here). Now, I’ve heard that it will be showing in my former home in the Philippines this month. Sad.

So why am I even talking about a film I haven’t seen yet? As a person of Asian background – and specifically from the South East, I am sick and tired of how majority of the media today portrays us – either as some naive exotic and submissive characters as stereotypically shown in the movie called, ‘Memoirs of A Geisha’ or being a clueless, passive too xenophobic one-dimensional sort like the Japanese depicted in the horrible and overrated Aussie flick, ‘Japanese Story’.

When I saw this one, I was surprised how relatable they seem to me. The way the filipino woman maid was shown on screen is very familiar to me. And not even our own filipino film industry comes close to even portray ourselves this human and down-to-earth. And even though I am not Chinese, and I have issues of my own in terms of relating with some of them (I’ll probably explain this in a better time), I have no trouble whatsoever in even relating to the child who this maid cares for.

I had different nannies every year until I was ten. With the exception of two nannies who sadly only stayed with my family for less than a year, most of them were not very pleasant and honest. The nannies I had worst were when I was from six to eight years old. One set of nannies when I was six always played music too loud. My siblings and I weren’t even allowed out of the house. They would just lock us inside our bedroom until we get dinner. I used to cry around that time because I felt like a caged bird and I always missed my parents.

Then when they eventually moved out, in came my daddy’s distant relatives from provincial Davao (I don’t know which part of it). They were a temperamental sort and they, too, never liked us going out to play with the other neighborhood kids. I remembered a slightly scary incident with one of them when I was just inside and playing my little brother’s ball. I accidentally hit the ball (it really wasn’t big and heavy. Really.) at her back while she was slicing up onions. And then…she got up and glared and yelled at me, with that knife swinging in her hand like it was about to stab me. I suddenly sat on the floor and huddled and cried loudly. She only yelled at me and made these threats a child that age shouldn’t even be hearing it. Murder and naked was all I thought through when she did it. In my mind, I tell you. This stuck with me until they were gone. For good.

By the time I was ten years old and knowing already how to clean the house, we did not get any nannies anymore. The last we had did not even come back, because well, we didn’t have money anymore for them. Still, my parents decided to get a housekeeper. We were first upset about it, because we all thought, ‘Not another nanny.’ But she wasn’t even going to live with us. And she was the best of all helpers we got in our household. She was honest, decent and sometimes too quiet, though not in a sinister sense either. It was just her disposition. She’s not even annoyingly shy like some of the past nannies I got who actually were obnoxious when my parents were out for work.

The sad thing is, we left the country and we’re so sorry that she’s jobless again. I don’t know now what has happened to her. I really wish her family good health and more financial stability. I really still feel bad for her. And even though we had her for only four years till we left the country, I still cannot forget about her. Her acts of kindness when she gave my daddy back  his twenty peso bill inside his pants while she washed it was just one of many good things she did for us. She’s such a rarity and not some sell-out, and that’s perhaps why I still care today whatever is happening to her. I really hope that she hasn’t killed herself or begging out there and getting all very hopeless. I dread to even think further on that.

This filmmaker must have had very memorable experiences with his former nanny. When I actually read about what had happened to her in real life, I felt extremely sad. Like almost tragically sad. To think that she was looked up to by the filmmaker she took care of in his growing years as somebody who was modern and a little sophisticated (especially for a domestic worker), only to find that after returning to her hometown in Ilo Ilo, she had deteriorated mentally and financially. That was extremely painful for me to read about it. When the filmmaker visited her this year, he was shocked to even find that she couldn’t anymore speak in English. She lived in a hut where she was raising pigs and chickens. When I read that bit, I was just aghast to learn about her stark changes. I never thought that environment can turn you something like this.

I do hope that our former housekeeper isn’t in this same situation. And I really wish her and her family a very merry Christmas season.

All Praise For the Good Filipino

Here is a controversial and lousy list of traits that I personally think can qualify as a  good filipino:

1. When you invite your newly acquainted friend to your party, and s(h)e declines without stating clear reasons – you don’t jump into conclusions and assume that this person already hates you.

2. You don’t sulk easily. In every situation.

3. You are considerate enough to your neighbours who try to have a good sleep that you don’t karaoke all through the night, or everyday, or forever. Especially when you live in an area where houses are really cramped together. 

4. You express your concern about noise pollution by not having loud music playing all through the night, or everyday, or forever. And you also have to think about how this would gradually deafen you. 

5. You are not a jealous person, unless it concerns your spouses when they do something wrong behind your back. 

6. You love your brown skin, flat nose, short height, and dark hair. You would not even worry about getting too much sunlight. You need vitamin D, you know. 

7. You don’t get offended when someone tells you ‘no’ – in just about anything. 

8. You don’t think that cock fights are right. Nuff’ said. 

9. You don’t think or do illegal gambling, especially when you do not have a decent job, home or income. And even if you do- just don’t. 

10. You are frugal with your money and you don’t waste it for the latest, trendiest piece of technology there is- even if you don’t earn much at all. And especially when you live in a shack where there isn’t even a proper toilet around. Well, you save it for mortgage, good house, and education for your children or for yourself. 

11. You eat vegetables a lot. I am not even saying meat is bad. It’s just that you need to learn to appreciate healthy eating. 

12. You (men) do not cheat on your wife. In all circumstances. 

13. You (women) do not also cheat on your husbands and you do not nag. At all. 

14. You don’t spoil your children with material stuff (phones, computer games, laptops, etc.), even if you can afford these things. You will tell them to work hard for it themselves.

15. You despise arrogance. Really despise it, and avoid coming off as one. 

16. You don’t leech off from your wealthier relatives. I think that’s clear enough. 

17. When someone expresses their dislike for things you do – you don’t get a knee jerk reaction and feel offended about it. 

18. You reflect before you say or do. You hold wisdom in high-esteem and you are considerate with what being immature around anyone can lead you and the rest of society to. 

19. You are not a kleptomaniac. 

20. You are not a compulsive liar. You, as much as possible, avoid trouble so you don’t even get anyone to call out on your actions – and for you to hide about it. 

21. You don’t kill anybody because they have what you don’t. You also don’t kill anybody, unless somebody threatens you or those who hold dear to you.

22. You are persevering and diligent. You do not take short cuts in any challenge you encounter. Work hard to be able to reap up the good fruits in your lives. Alright,  I admit that I am not always like this. 

23. You don’t hate being a filipino. Even if majority of us deserve a good many beatings for the stupidity we always relish. 

24. You stop watching our local programs, because you think they have rubbish content in them. And that you think they’re very counter-productive.

25. You value honesty.

26. You do not step over others out of your insecurities. 

27. You don’t cheat. At all. 

28. You don’t insist that you are born with some sense of entitlement. 

29. You despise gossip and you avoid doing so. 

30. You learn that humour can also be dry and wry, and not just a slapstick sort. 

31. You root for a leader who is transparent in what s(h)e does; s(h)e holds degrees; s(h)e is not a compulsive thief; did not kill anyone; did not bribe with anyone to get their ways; has a lot of experience in governing before stepping up in your rank in leadership; good leadership skills; not slow; has political will; has a sense of direction; not an actor or from the showbiz- or a sportsman with no higher education; doesn’t come from a privileged background; good at economics- and uses taxpayer’s money to build more schools, fund for good family planning, fund for better roads and buildings; promotes for free education and free healthcare; also does not favour anybody when they mete out justice; not a media whore; and…a good listener. 

32. You dump something inside that rubbish dump, and not otherwise. 

33. You do not scorn or gossip about or make fun of anyone who you think are out of your norm – you know, those individualistic types. Like me. 

34. You do not comment on anybody’s looks in every conversation. 

35. You follow rules. Especially in traffic or when queuing for something. 

36. You can accept that not every filipino around you can speak tagalog. Like me. 

37. You don’t give a darn thing when a person you know doesn’t have an expensive phone, no facebook, no twitter, no fancy clothes or shoes – and is quiet most of the time. And only speaks to you when they have to.

38. You don’t think a quiet person is evil. You know what I mean.

39. You learn to be honest when you say to that person you don’t like it or you don’t want to – tactfully, of course. 

40. You think mainstream filipino pop-culture is idiotic. 

41. You do not possess herd-mentality. You avoid idiocy and immaturity as much as possible. 

42. You stop comparing yourself constantly with the rest of the world or for whatever you do or make. Alright, I’m guilty with this one at times. 

43. You (teachers) do not get mad at students when they express how your lessons aren’t clear enough to understand. You also are not reactive towards students who make any spontaneous remarks about it. Even when some of them come off mean. You are objective about the situation. 

44. You don’t drag anybody to your problems. You are a responsible individual. 

45. You don’t play the blame game and victim mentality whenever somebody points out the shameful thing(s) you do. You learn to own it up.

46. A good listener. 

47. Does not just smile to a foreigner, and frown really bad to your fellow filipinos on the other hand. 

48. Being honest about the situation you are in. And you don’t try to even skirt about the issue being raised. 

49. You are not easily corruptible or, better, you’re not one at all. 

…dang,  I can’t even make it through fifty. So, here’s my too long and lousy list, so far. Had fun jotting these down. Feel free to suggest.